


SMILF

by PotionsMistressM



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotionsMistressM/pseuds/PotionsMistressM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal & Belle call Rumple to pick them up after a few too many drinks; written for the "Speak Up or Shut Up" challenge at LJ's OnceUponALand</p>
            </blockquote>





	SMILF

“Papa… Could you come get us? I don’t think either of us should be driving home.”

It was a phone call Rumplestiltskin never thought he would ever receive. Stranger still, if someone had told him he would one day have to go pick up his adult son and his almost-the-same-age girlfriend after a drinking binge, he would have wondered what that person had been smoking. And yet, as his massive boat of a car pulled up outside the Rabbit Hole, Bae and Belle stumbled out, holding on to each other and giggling.

Neal immediately fell into the big back seat, lying across the length of the car. Belle crawled into the passenger seat, kneeling on the vinyl for some reason, and gave Rumplestiltskin a long, lingering, very clearly drunk kiss.

“Eeeeeew,” came a groan from the back seat, and Belle dissolved into a fit of giggles as she sat and buckled her seat belt. As Rumplestiltskin pulled away from the curb, his son- still laying on the back seat, but now somehow inexplicably on his stomach began calling out. “Belle. Belle. Belle. Bellebellebellebelle.”

“Neal.”

“You’re totally a SMILF.” Belle’s face scrunched in confusion, trying to work out the new acronym.

“A _Smurf_ you’d like to-“

“No, Step-mother I’d like to-“

“BAELFIRE!” Rumplestiltskin roared, cutting his son off before he could complete the (totally inappropriate) phrase. Neal snickered, and Belle laughed so hard she snorted.

“Eeeeasy there, Oedipus,” she giggled. Rumple glanced to Belle in the seat next to him. And though he’d expected to find her slightly (or more) offended, she was turned around in her seat, looking back at Neal and laughing.

“Good to see you two getting along,” Rumplestiltskin hissed under his breath through clenched teeth. This ride could not end quickly enough; it was becoming painfully uncomfortable.

“Hey, Bill,” Neal started, drunkenly quoting a movie Rumplestiltskin had never seen but that Neal had taken to using when teasing him. “Remember when we were freshman and your mom was a senior? Remember when I asked her to Prom?”

“Shut up, Ted,” Belle and Rumplestiltskin answered at the exact same time, causing the two inebriated passengers to fly into yet another giggling fit.


End file.
